Let’s Start at the Beginning: Resilience and Relationships

Relationships play a vital role in building the resilience of an individual. This starts at a young age when we are heavily influenced by our guardians and parents. More resilient children tend to be raised with an authoritative parenting style, rather than authoritarian or passive parenting styles.

The authoritative parenting style displays the qualities of warmth and affection that also provide structure and support to the child. Baumrinds’ (1971, 2013) theory of parenting styles highlights why authoritative parenting is the ideal approach to raising a well rounded, independent, self-reliant, and self-controlled individual.

Opposing this is the authoritarian parenting style, which can result in rebellious or dependent children who experience frequent distrust and thus, tend to be withdrawn from others.

Lopez and Snyder (2009) explain several protective factors for psychological resilience, concluding that parenting style is just one of many factors affecting resilience.

Lopez and Synder also consider parental educational level, socio-economic status and home environment (organized vs. disorganized) as strong influences in the development of a child’s psychological resilience.

Many researchers similar conclusions about Baumrinds’ categorization of parenting styles. The type of relationship, as well as the type of person in the relationship, play big roles in the development of resilience. When positive relationships occur, well-adjusted and rule-abiding behaviors are valued; these influence strong positive effects on resilience levels.

Characteristics of resilience include cognitive skills, personality differences, problem-solving ability, self-regulation, and adaptability to stress. In early relationships and supportive environments, children can develop tools that subconsciously develop their psychological resilience and these aforementioned skills.

Lopez and Snyder mention these key protective individual factors as:

  • Positive self-image;
  • Problem-solving skills;
  • Self-regulation;
  • Adaptability;
  • Faith/understanding the meaning and one’s purpose;
  • Positive outlook;
  • Skills and talents that are valued by self and community;
  • General acceptance by others.